


Bonnie Barcelona

by curseofbunny



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: F/M, carmen sandiego au, spy AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 23:45:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17590703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curseofbunny/pseuds/curseofbunny
Summary: A bonkai au based on the 2019 Carmen Sandiego RebootThere's never usually many cars on the road at two am in London. There's also never many beat up cars containing interpol agents, one overworked and tired, the other bright eyed and bushy tailed. There's also not usually many women in red hats and coats perched on top of buildings.





	Bonnie Barcelona

There's never usually many cars on the road at two am in London. There's also never many beat up cars containing interpol agents, one overworked and tired, the other bright eyed and bushy tailed. There's also not usually many women in red hats and coats perched on top of buildings.

“So, tell me what's up, babe.” The woman in red croons to the wind.

On the other side of the line is a much less classy girl, the same age but much less impressive. Said girl was wearing a hoodie six times her size with pin straight hair pulled into a messy ponytail, sucking cheeto dust off the fingers of one hand as the other tapped expertly on her keyboard.

“You're looking at Queen’s Gate Place, one of the most expensive spots to crash in London.” Elena grins as she rattles it off. “And nestled on floors 39 and 40 you're going to find the residence of Vile Operatives. Not listed who, but I assume you-”

“Silas. The big kahuna.” Bonnie let her mouth wrap around his name just this once, nose twitching in disgust. “He's the big guy.”

“Riiiiiight. Yeah. Well in there is a safe and a pretty rock, and I think it would look lovely on the shelf back home.” Elena leaned forwards, propping her chin on her hands. “Whaddya say, red? Just this once?”

“Please, babe.” She rolls her eyes. “You know how I roll.”

Elena pouts as Bonnie steps off the ledge and moves to head towards the building.

In the streets below, the bright-eyed interpol agent’s mouth opens in surprise as she sees a red form moving over the rooftops, half turning in her seat.

“Agent Mikaelson?” Anna asks, excitement bubbling up. Would this be her first cop chase?”

“We’re looking for la femme rouge, Annabelle.” He lets the french nickname for the thief roll of his tongue, boredly scanning the road and alleyways. “Whatever it is can wait.”

“But-”

“No buts! The woman known as Bonnie Barcelona must be captured at all costs! She’s a thief, and worse, she looks awful. Have you seen that cloak? Who wears trenches in this day and age. Tasteless.” He clucks his tongue dismissively.

“Sir?”

“Fine! What?”

Anna forcibly turns his head. “She’s right over there!”

Klaus Mikaelson’s eyebrows flew up and he slammed his foot onto the brakes, sure to cause the residencies around them to fuss in the morning.

That just wasn’t as important to him as capturing her.

“Stay put Annabelle!” He throws the car into ‘park’ and nearly trips over himself as he gets out. “I’m going to catch her!”

“Want me to call for backup, sir?” Anna calls, getting out herself and leaning on the doorframe.

“And let them steal my glory? No!”

Anna merely sighed. Men.

She was far more interested in the villainess in red.

Said “villainess” was smiling with red lips and crouching on the outdoor garden to the lavish apartment. “So what’s your plans for tonight, babe?”

“I have some nacho cheese in the fridge, I was thinking about asking Jer to make me some chain gang nachos.”

“What are those?”

“Uncle John showed him how to make prison nachos once. There’s ramen noodles in it, yum.”

Bonnie couldn’t help but wrinkle her nose in distaste. “You do know that you can use some of my money to buy real food sometime, right?”

“Nachos are real food!”

Bonnie rolled her eyes and finished picking the lock. “Did you take care of the security measures inside?”

“Oh yeah, I got that already, B!” Elena tapped on something and reached for her tablet to show the screen. “Convenient blackout in the security room and maybe a slight power surge in the apartment. People really need to learn that those smart-appliances are just canon fodder for me, you know?”

“You know, one day I’m going to have to go all the way down to Fell’s Church and kiss you myself, babe.” Bonnie slid into the apartment at long last.

“I’ll let you come when you’ve got a rock for me. Rings are totally up my alley, girly.”

Bonnie couldn’t help but snicker, eyes trailing over everything she passed. There was art everywhere, expensive and lavish and stolen. On the floors were priceless rugs and on the pedestals were vases, and right in the back corner of the apartment was the safe entrance.

“You know, Silas should have known that you never leave the goodies out when there’s company over.” She clucks her tongue, already on it.

“Wait!” Elena nearly tipped her chair over in her hurry. “Don’t go to that one!”

“Why not?”

“It’s filled with a poisonous gas that’ll take the value of half the room down a million dollars each.”

Bonnie winced. “Maybe he does know how to run his life. Where is the safe?”

“In the master bathroom.”

“Kinky.”

Elena giggled and relaxed, reaching for her towering slushy. It was nice to have bratty teen siblings with fresh licenses so she could feed her caffeine addiction without leaving the other girl alone for a second.

“Just keep walking, red. I got your back.”

The hunk of minerals that they were looking for was a stolen, rare cut of red beryl. Considering the gem was 10k a carat, Bonnie was looking forward to taking it off their hands.

She got the safe open in record time, and there it was.

Until she glanced over her shoulder and something else caught her eye.

“Uh, B? We’ve got company incoming. You should hurry up!”

“Who is it?”

“Some agent from interpol, I think?” Elena scrunched up her nose as she watched him stairs, leather jacket looking worn. “He looks grubby.”

“Huh. We all know I’ve only got room for one grubby person in my life.”

Elena rolled her eyes. “I told you that in confidence.”

“And I…” Bonnie slipped her prize into a sack. “Will never let it go.”

With that, la femme rouge disappeared from the apartment.

And Klaus busted in, flashing his badge. “Interpol!”

There was no one there.

But he knew she’d been here, there was a single red feather delicately balanced on the countertop before him.

Bonnie had changed before she slipped into the train. The hat and coat were in her briefcase- lovingly placed just where Care had promised it’d be- and her jeans and flowing red top, hair pulled into two low buns with loose ringlets escaping, it all helped her to blend in.

The only thing that was really bugging her was that she knew she was being followed.

“Lovely?” Bonnie whispered to her little hacking bug. “Are there security cameras on this train?”

“Just two, why?”

Bonnie stepped into the carriage, tense. “I’ve got a bad feeling.”

And of course, the door opened just behind her. “Want a massage?”

Bonnie turned with a roundhouse kick that should have knocked his lights out, but the VILE agent knew her too well, catching her foot and shoving her back.

Bonnie managed to land on her feet, just barely, fists raised in front of her.

“Kai.” She hissed.

He grinned dopily at her, eyes narrowed with just enough malice to prove that he wasn’t on her side as he closed and locked the door behind himself. “Please, be professional, bunny. It’s Wolfgang.”

“Red? Bonnie?” Elena, on the other line, was as far forward in her chair as possible, fingers flying as she tried to find something on the train to help her friend. “Is that the-”

Kai discharged the electric rod, sending a shock through the red-clad spy, as well as eliciting a cry. Of course, it also temporarily fried the mic, severing her connection to Elena.

Bonnie narrowed her eyes at him. “Asshole.”

“Sorry bunny, couldn’t have you hopping away on my watch.”

Bonnie tried to snatch the rod from him again, but he knocked her feet out from under her and easily dropped to straddle her and hold her wrists above her head.

She’d be more upset if she hadn’t let it happen.

“You followed me.”

“I wanted to talk to you. Besides, you really know how to take the bait, don’t you?”

“Carrot and stick, always the carrot.” Her eyes fall on the little velvet satchel for a moment before she forces herself to look up at his damn face. “What’s your excuse?”

“I wanted to feel you again.” He leans down, purposefully pressing himself against her. “Maybe you’d come back if you saw the right face.”

“I’m never going back to Vile.”

“Then,” Kai pulled his own microphone out of his ear, shutting it off. “Tell me why.”

Bonnie let her head ‘thunk’ against the carpet. “Are you really going to sit on me the whole time?”

“Why not?”

“Maybe I don’t want you getting pawsy with me.” The pun is too easy to snap out, and he just grins at her.

“Just get on with it.”

“Fine.”

She closed her eyes.

“They found me when I was a baby and took me in. I never knew who, but I’m pretty sure it was Shane. He was always looking at me with these sad, sad eyes, and always on my side… But he raised me. They all did. On the island, with the school.”

“You know I was there for atleast part of this, right?” Kai’s eyebrows rise.

“You wanted to know why I left, are you going to interrupt me or are you going to let me speak?”

Kai lifted his hands in an ‘i surrender’ pose. Bonnie crossed her arms.

“Anyways, I grew up surrounded by the big kids and a revolving door of nannies. I learned so much, but the biggest things I learned were the tricks. Theft wasn’t bad there, it was just a game. And you know how I am with games-”

“You always win, bunny.” His lips twitched up. “What’s your real name, anyways?”

“Just White Rabbit. They never gave me a real one. I guess I’m the perfect agent, you know?” She looked to the side, bitterness twisting in her gut. “I never questioned them. They were my family.”

Kai sagged a bit. “And you don’t ever argue with family.”

“You know that as much as I do.”

He shook his head. “But go on?”

“One time when I was pranking someone, I ended up finding something. You knew the rules, only first names, no contact with the outside world, and no trying to leave. But then I found a cell phone!”

His eyes lit up. “I remember seeing that once! I thought you were too much of a goodie two shoes at first, seeing it made me realize you were a badass.”

Bonnie rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I was always a badass. You’re just blind.”

“Not when it comes to you.”

Bonnie ignores the breathy tone to that, the way he shifted on top of her.

“Anyways.” She says, a bit harsher than intended. “After a couple of weeks, the phone… well, it did something weird. It buzzed and chirped, and when I hit the button, there was a cackling girl on the other side, talking about how she was ‘in’ and how she was so much better at hacking than I was at encrypting. And I didn’t know what she was talking about, so we just ended up talking.”

“And then?”

“And then I begged the faculty to let me get into the classes. Rebekah was the biggest one who didn’t want me to, she thought I was immature and that I was going to fail out immediately. But Shane stuck up for me.”

“And then you were in my class.”

Bonnie smiled slightly. “Yeah. You, Sunny and Ripper, Moony and Magpie and Kitten. The whole gang.”

“Moony misses you, bunny. Why don’t you just come home?”

“This isn’t the whole story.” Her smile dropped, eyes narrowing. “You know that.”

He just sighed. “But I was there for everything else!”

“Not through my eyes, you weren’t there for that.”

“Then speak.”

Bonnie nodded curtly. “Fine. Katherine, Kitten, she was the most annoying. Her and Magpie were always snickering and acting like they were better than me. But when it came down to it we could work together, as long as we had the same goal.”

“Moony was always the best of us.” Bonnie continued. “He’s such a sweetheart, I thought he’d understand why I had to leave. And Sunny and Ripper…”

“You still sweet on them?” Kai’s voice is soft.

Bonnie remembers the secret little moments, in broom closets and the showers, where she pulled the blonde and the italian- Lexi and Stefan, Magpie’s little brother- in for kisses. Every time that she showed them her favorite things and every time they told her about their hometowns, what they used to do for a living, every time they trailed wandering fingers up her inner thighs and every time she pressed them down, needing more, more, more.

“I’ll do whatever I have to do.” Her voice is hard.

“I’m still listening, but there’s always room for you back at VILE. We miss you. They miss you. They haven’t been the same since you left. We… I haven’t been the same.” Kai leans in again.

“And I’ve changed since I left.” She reaches up to cup his cheek. “You really were always the big brother I never had.”

He bites his lip and looks away, and she wonders why tears gather in the corner of his eyes.

“The final exam came. And… you saw that. I swear, I checked every pocket on Bex’s coat, you saw me.”

“You were flying.”

“Bex never admitted it, but I know that coat was empty!”

“Bunny…”

“I go by Bonnie now.”

“But I fought so hard to get to call you bunny.” His voice is still soft, and his eyes are still wet.

Bonnie rolled her eyes. “Anyways. I failed the pickpocketing exam, and then I failed the whole year. And when I snuck out… When I saw you guys kill someone…”

“Sometimes hard decisions have to be made. It’s not a big deal.” Kai shrugged.

“To you, maybe. But they kept me back and I had to do a second year of thief school… But I was really just waiting. It was a game. I pretended I was working hard, and I pretended I cared, and I pretended I was still their little star pupil, little White Rabbit all ready to go out into the world and steal it for them.”

“But you always win your games.”

Bonnie grinned. “I snuck out. It was hard. But I stole the data archives for the upcoming year, and I stole the boat, and I escaped.”

“And now you’re here.” Kai braced his hands on either side of her head, careful not to catch any hair under his palms. “So, what now?”

“Well if you’d get up…”

“Not likely.”

Bonnie narrowed her eyes and leaned up, bracing herself on her elbows. This put her squarely in his space. “Come on Wolfgang,” She purred it, knowing his weakness. His whole body shivered. “Let the bunny up.”

One of his arms shifted to loop around her waist. “How do I know you won’t just hop off?”

“Don’t you want to watch my tail?”

His face got redder and redder, slowly turning away to close his eyes. “You’re evil.”

Bonnie firmly brought her knee up into his crotch, slipping up. “Uh, duh. Whatever.”

After he regained his balance, they fought, but she easily dispatched him, knocking him out with his own electric rod. And then she tied him up, leaning down to cup his chin and kiss his forehead. Under her hat and trenchcoat, wrapped up neat and tidy for police.

Bonnie slipped the microphone back in her ear.

“Elena? Are Matt and Care ready for me?”

“Yeah, what was that?”

“An old friend.” Bonnie flicked the light in the train cabin off.

**Author's Note:**

> tell me what y'all think!!! not every character has shown up yet but im terrible at tagging so i'm trying to lock down all the tags first for once <3  
> comments fuel the author!


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